Over the last few months I haven't blogged a thing. It wasn't anything personal against my readers. I simply had nothing to say. I was at a crossroads. A transition. Nothing too serious like an illness or alien kidnapping, but I was simply at a loss for words. Or the words I was accustomed to using wasn't working anymore. How I was accustomed to feeling or thinking or living wasn't doing the trick. So I decided to take a hiatus from all that was me and look deeper, assess a bit more critically.

Painful? Yes. Necessary? Oh, you wouldn't believe.

The results I refuse to share. One, because it ain't over. Two, because like life it's personal. But I will say this: I am not quite who I thought I was, or who I will be, or who I am. I am now an enigma of my very own self. Out here in this world searching for a place to fit; searching for something to say about it all. I've never been so... uncertain in my life. Uncertain about war, the weather, God, family, love, sex, friendship, money, career, personal philosophy, and more importantly human interaction. But I am certain that I exist and that this world is my experience and my voice [if i allow myself to truly speak] is certainly my testament.

It must go noted that I owe a great deal of my passion for self-awareness to music, to film and to friends and family who believe in the wealth of their own destiny. Someone I met recently said, "Keith, you're a bit New Agey." At first I fumed at that accusation. But then I took a breath and claimed what was true. In so many words, I am.

So... if you have a glass of wine, or water, or flavored decaffeinated tea, lift your glass or your cup and toast to giving TESTAMENT to your very own life. You never really know how long you'll have it.

This blog entry is dedicated to my uncle, ROBERT CLINTON ADKINS. I didn't know you well. Hell, I didn't let you know me. But thank you for lliving your life with courage.

Until next time,

Keith